A Note to Husbands:
For more than 40 years, I thought I was doing pretty well when it came to household duties. My contributions were numerous and substantial. (Close to impressive, even!) Lawn care. Snow shoveling. Lightbulb changing. Moving heavy boxes. Making chicken soup four or five times a year. Scrubbing toilets. Replacing batteries in the remote. Replacing toilet paper rolls when I used the last square. Finding studs to hang pictures. (Insert joke here.)
I’ll stop there. Because as you may suspect, once I start listing — and comparing — Rita wins.
I fully realize that now, because on December 9, 2025, Rita slipped on some ice in downtown St. Charles and broke her ankle, tibia, and fibula. After surgery, which included lots of screws and plates, she was instructed not to put any weight on her foot until mid-February.
Dutiful husband Jay now has a much better sense of what Rita’s lengthy list of household duties typically looks like.
Did you know that dogs need to be fed and watered? And people (like Rita and me) also expect to eat three times per day. Staples — milk, eggs, coffee, etcetera — don’t appear magically in the cupboards and fridge. Not just mine, but all phones, laptops, and iPads need charging. Mail is not just collected from the mailbox daily, but it needs to be sorted and prioritized.
Before this month, I didn’t realize we had eleven indoor plants that require watering. Also, I haven’t sorted laundry or cleaned a dryer lint screen since college. Plus, the dishwasher stopped working. (Not me, the actual appliance.)
Enough said. Husbands — even good ones like me — I implore you don’t make that list. Not physically, digitally, or mentally. Even though it’s not really a competition, you will lose.
BTW, I can’t help but think this entire episode is happening to teach me a lesson in appreciation. And maybe to share that same lesson with you.
You can find more surprising and practical insight for married individuals in my books on marriage for husbands, wives, couples, newlyweds, and grandparents.
And yes, Rita does sit in that La-Z-Boy chair (as pictured) for much of the day. Mostly to heal and not re-injure herself. But also because she’s been busting her chops for her husband, kids, and grandkids for decades.
Oh yeah. Happy New Year,
/jay
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